happy holidays, you bastard.

It's christmas day and I find myself locked in my room watching the it crowd and one tree hill all day.
So, my brother came over today with a birthday and christmas present.
It's always better late than never.
Having dinner and cooking with the famz soon.
For once, I find myself actually thinking Christmas is okay.

I've been spending time with Shanti again and it feels so good.
This year i've had my share of ups and downs.
I've lost friendships that I thought could last a lifetime.
I've failed things, i've succeeded at others.
Katy Perry has got it right.
I change my mind, like a girl changes clothes.
Somedays, everything will be great and the next, i couldn't hate life more.

Anyway, today, i've come to the realisation that I don't have friends.
I have three best friends. They're more than enough.
As crappy as this year has been and as many regrets that I have. I'm glad i've gone through this year.
I've learnt so much, I know who the people that matter to me are.
And there are many more I don't care about, but at least I can recognise them now.
I think i've changed over this past year.
Some of me for the better, some of me not so.
However, I'm content.

This year, may have been one of the worst years of my life but I find myself enjoying the last moments of it.